


Dearly Beloved

by Stakebait



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-26
Updated: 2010-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stakebait/pseuds/Stakebait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Browncoats site posted "write Zoe and Wash's wedding vows" as a challenge, and mine turned into a mini ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dearly Beloved

**Author's Note:**

> Either slightly AU or set in the Serenity reboot, depending on how you interpret the movie timeline.

  
Wash: Dearly beloved, and not so dearly beloved, and people only one of us loves, and the ones we just put up with -- Hi, Jayne --

Book: In some parts it's traditional to let the shepherd do that piece.

Wash: Sorry. I'm nervous. I always babble when I'm nervous. And when I'm bored, and when I'm hungry, and when Zoe gives me that look like she's deciding whether to ravish me or toss me out the airlock.

Zoe: It's part of your charm, dear.

Book: We are gathered here today because marriage is the most sacred act that an ordinary man can undertake.

Wash: And because Mal wanted a layover to let the heat die down after what happened on Ethros 9.

Mal: Only on account of Zoe vetoed my plan to tie you up and lock you in a luggage compartment.

Zoe: [deadpan] You didn't want to pay another pilot, sir.

Mal: It's always my fault.

Book: That goes without saying. Marriage is not only a matter of love, or of friendship and respect…

Wash: Or really amazing, mind-blowing sex…

Book: It is about two ordinary people choosing to become something bigger than themselves. Animals can love and make babies, stars and planets can divide and become multitudes, but in all the 'verse, only people can do that. It's what makes us human. Let us pray.

Mal: Let's not and say we didn't.

Zoe: With all due respect, shut up, sir.

Mal: I sit corrected.

Jayne [takes off his hat]

Book: Lord, this couple has a hard road ahead. Help them to walk together with dignity, to lean on each other's strengths and learn compassion and patience from their weaknesses, to find comfort in each other in times of pain and fear and laughter in times of peace. And Lord, help them to learn wisdom and stop trying to use my chapel as a smuggler's depot, because I wasn't born yesterday, amen.

Mal: That was real inspiring, shepherd.

Book: It better be.

[Zoe and Wash turn to face each other]

Wash: Zoe, I promise to admire you, respect you, say 'hubba hubba' when you walk by, move half my toys out of my bunk to make room for you, scrub your back, hold your gun, and love you forever or until you kick my ass to make me stop, whichever comes last.

Zoe: [smiles] I promise to love you and honor you in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, as long as we both shall live. Husband.

Jayne [sniffs]

Wash: I married a traditionalist. [to Zoe] What, I don't get an "obey"?

Mal: That one's mine.

Wash: Don't push it, Mal.

Zoe: [steps between them] You can't kill the best man. He still has to make the toast.

Kaylee: And it's real bubbly!

Jayne [eyes bottle label] Tsai boo shr! Kaylee, want to get married?

Kaylee [giggles as she snatches the bottle out of reach] Sure! Know any cute boys you can fix me up with?

Jayne: Tzao gao.

Kaylee: You could always propose to the Capt'in.

Mal: I could take your share of the cake.


End file.
